We usually don’t think about how our negative attitude and actions can make another person feel. Not only should we think about this before making the decision to act or think negatively, but we should also think about how we are going to feel afterward. More often than not, you will feel an overwhelming sense of regret and guilt.
When keeping your commitment becomes hard, you have 2-choices: 1️⃣ You can change your behavior to match your commitment 2️⃣ You can lower your values to match your behavior
I could be someone who became consumed with winning OR I could drop the rope and end the game of tug of war
We don’t want to be the reason someone’s feelings get hurt, but we still act in a way that might cause another pain. However, there is always room to become a better person. Everything we go through in life will teach us something, and so will this.
There is always a moment when staying will require you to cross a personal line. When you get to the point where the only move is one that will compromise your integrity, you’ll know you’re done.
Over time, you start noticing that some people just aren’t worth it anymore. The truth is, you have no idea what another person has been through or what they’re going through, so you don’t have the right to make judgments.
You can’t win the “you’re toxic” argument. Evidence doesn’t work because they won’t believe it. Not only that, but they enjoy the fight because they believe they are fighting a just cause in protecting themselves. You can’t bank on their empathy for those they are leading. It doesn’t exist.
Toxic people enjoy the fight, and no amount of strategy will allow you to protect yourself (or your reputation) against someone who doesn’t act with integrity. They always make the same mistake that costs them in the end; and it’s inherent in the nature of the toxicity itself.
The surprising reality is that toxic people don’t think they are toxic. Most are genuinely astounded—not to mention defensive—when confronted with their toxicity. They go for ego-based wins. Leverage gets mistaken for loyalty.
So don’t get too much involved with them. Let the toxic people win. If you stay too long, your creative energy is drained in the conflict—and often the results are the same as if you’d left earlier.
Go use that energy to build something life-giving somewhere else. Besides, you can afford the short-term loss. The win is in protecting your integrity by not playing the game.