Being aware of your influencing approach and your ability to flex this appropriately will undoubtedly contribute to the next area—your reputation. It's OK to be afraid. Stay afraid, but do try to overcome it anyway. What's important is the action. You don't have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.
Courage is fear management; it’s not the lack of fear. So, first of all, accept the fear, invite it in, get used to how it feels. Fear is only damaging when it dictates our behavior. Always do something to help to others, you tend to feel empowered.
Resilience is something that we often take for granted until it’s gone! Perhaps you’re busy studying, or at work and at home, with a little bit of stress, but then something extra happens—maybe it’s money worries, family arguments, or illness that’s a trigger. Sometimes, on reflection, what pushes us over the edge can seem almost trivial, but it is the extra or unexpected task. Wise women speak with curiosity instead of judgment, inviting those around to consider seeing things another way rather than demanding that they listen to our perspective.
Mostly women have this pervading, yet unconscious feeling within, bolstered by society, that what you have to say really isn’t of value. If family and society tell you it’s unfeminine to be aggressive, to speak up, to have strong opinions, to take up space, then women won’t trust their own voice. Our own sense of limitation and our fear that if we step forward, people won’t like us…. Give voice to what you know to be true and do not be afraid of being disliked or exiled.
We are actually taught not to sing out with strength and conviction. When your gut tells you something is wrong, trust that. And it’s not just for you, it’s for other people who might not be able to speak as loudly or as clearly as you might be able to. Part of your responsibility as a person who cares about people is to trust your own outrage and speak about it.
It’s so important that [women] look each other in the eye and go, ‘What’s happening is not okay, and we are not alone in trying to shift it. We are not alone in our pain, and we are not alone in transforming our pain into power. Sometimes things look difficult, like there is no hope, but there is always a small glimmering of silver lining that is in everything. You have to stay optimistic.
Women don't need to find a voice, they have a voice, they need to feel empowered to use it and people need to be encouraged to listen! I will not sit around and accept being belittled and the dehumanizing of other human beings.’ If you decide to do that in small ways, and you continue to do it, finally you realize you’ve got so much courage that people want to be around you. They get a feeling that they will be protected in your company.
We are not willing to make mistakes. We are very nervous about making a wrong move and we worry that if we make the wrong move, then the consequences will mean that we never recover from them. It’s okay—in fact, it’s better than okay—to make mistakes; because that strikes me as where all the good stuff of better learning happens. That is where you learn to be patient.
By presenting the real truth of yourself, who you really are, you change the molecules in the room. Your vulnerability is your power. Authenticity is everything. Think of what you have to offer and how unique that is. Women leaders are at a disadvantage because we are actually taught not to sing out with strength and conviction.
I think it is expensive to be quiet sometimes; it costs us more to be quiet than it does to speak up. While the cost of speaking out can be substantial, the ripple effect of women reclaiming their voices is immeasurable.The good news is that voice is in each of us, and we all know it. The bad news is there are both psychologically and politically huge forces against listening to that voice. The fact is - Women muting themselves and men hardening themselves is the root of all the problems.
If you feel strongly about a certain position and certain values or a certain view, then you should be able to stand alone. We have got so many complex issues that cannot be resolved by looking at them from one perspective.
If we can encourage more women to be heard, to be advocates for the issues they care about, you will change the climate, and you will change the culture over time, far more effectively because women broaden the information that goes into decision making.
I think right now it takes courage to live a life of hope. If we all give up hope and do nothing, then indeed there is no hope. Cumulatively, our small decisions, choices, and actions make a very big difference. If you’re comfortable with yourself and know yourself, you’re going to shine and radiate and other people are going to be drawn to you.