Here’s a reality that most women still face and can relate with their life situations.
The woman was waiting for the reluctant sun to rise. Her entire body was in pain and her tear burned her face like drops of acid. She closed her eyes and waiting for sunlight though she knew that closing her eyes would not ease the pain she felt in her heart. She remembered her husband yelling at her and beating her. Her tears had become as repetitive as her memories and years spent at her husband’s house. She had a little daughter standing beside her with her eyes wide open wondering her mother would tell her what’s going on!
“Mother, does it hurt?”
She felt her face high so that her would not see her tears and with a strong voice she said, “No. It doesn’t hurt.”
“It won’t hurt even if it is bleeding?” The child was persistent.
The woman swallowed the ball stuck in her throat and said, “No. It doesn’t hurt.”
She looked at the sky and told herself, “I won’t wait for the light any longer.”
She covered her child in a coat and wrapped a scarf around her nose and mouth, so that her swollen face is not seen by anyone. The old wooden door opened the way for her with a whine. She did not close it. She was tired of closing old doors.
It was dark. Her little girl was scared.
Where are we going? It is still dark,” she said.
Wavering, -She said, “to my father’s house.”
“We are going from my father’s house to your father’s house,” Said the innocent voice.
Holding her daughter’s hand, there She was fighting her stress. A wave of fear was overtaking her heart. What will people say? Maybe they ask my husband, “Your wife has gone to her father’s house?”
-OR They might say, “She wasn’t a good wife. She didn’t tolerate her husband’s house,” or “she must have had someone else…” The “what ifs,” were reproducing and strengthening in her head as she walked past one street into another.
She finally arrived where she had taken her first breath. She knocked the door. A few moments later her sister open the door. She left her daughter with sister at the yard and began walking towards the main building.
She reached to her loving family, to seek solace in the warm lap of her parents., to let herself a few deep breaths of safety and peace. She sought refuge in her home where she could claim a few moments of freedom. In a few moments, hell began to explode.
They said she had sullied the family’s honor. They told her to go, anywhere. Or better still, die.
“What are you doing here, you immoral woman?”
“A good woman will not speak even if she is deep fried in oil. Why have you left your husband’s house?”
“I wish you had died there and never dishonored us in this way!”
“What were you thinking? Go back to your home before your neighbors realize you are gone!!”
She was waiting for her father to respond, but in vain! He seems satisfied with all others who wished her to die. With a load of a mountain, she stepped out from her father’s house, holding her daughter tight around her aching arms.
Her family’s voices of anger followed her out. She shut the door to stop the voices.
She held her daughter’s hand. She had lost all feelings, including fear.
“Where are we going?” asked again the little girl.
“I don’t know my angel” she answered hopelessly. By now the Sun has started shedding its rays on the earth and this mother and daughter finding their way to move, But Where?, How?.
She reached the factory. She asked for a job, any job. Looked at the greedy glint in the manager’s eyes. She retraced her steps from the factory.
She reached the streets. Head down, her wet eyes rained droplets on the tar covered hot black roads. “Kya hua, what happened, need some help?” they gathered around her-the vultures eyed the new prey hungrily.
She did not dare to raise her eyes, she did not dare to look at their lecherous eyes. She changed her course. They still taunted her. They still scorned her. They still gathered around her. They still followed her.……the uncles, the bhaiyas, the friends, the managers, the repulsive goons on the streets.
She fought back. They did not retrace their steps!
She went to the police. Looked at them with hope. She pleaded with them to listen to her plight, she appealed to them for help. They laughed at her, called her delusional. They told her to ‘adjust. Men will be men’, they said. She retraced her steps.
She reached the shore, to cleanse her name in the depths of the sullied waters. To seek freedom, from everything, from everyone. She looked at the swirling muddy waters. The swollen river stared back. It questioned her choice. It refused to give her the ‘freedom’ she desired.
As she walked, she could feel the weight of rocks hanging around her body. The pain was unbearable. She kept on walking, holding her daughter’s hand. She was tired and kept on walking; not knowing where to go…
She reached the shore, to cleanse her name in the depths of the sullied waters. To seek freedom, from everything, from everyone. She looked at the swirling muddy waters. The swollen river stared back. It questioned her choice. It refused to give her the ‘freedom’ she desired. She changed her direction. She walked on, head held high, a confident gaze shot back at the piercing, mocking, questioning, lecherous eyes.
Firm steps trod a new road, road to freedom.
“It was a choice that turned in another direction from the freedoms she had so often longed for and fought for.”
“Do women have their own homes?” a perplexed innocent little girl thought to herself.
Going through such harsh circumstances is heart breaking and an Eye Opener which compels us to think over and over again- Whether we are nurturing our girls to go through this or we are making them strong enough to face the world. Does it make any sense giving birth to daughters and raising them when we don’t value their life and choices? Next time, let us refrain from referring to girls as the honor of the family. Please spare them the privilege and the shame associated with it. They are just human beings. Let them live. When a woman is placed on this pedestal, pretty much every choice that she makes, or even actions against her consent jeopardize her family and community’s honor. In a society where girls are raised with marriage being an integral purpose of their being, any activity that could destroy her chances of marriage is very seriously judged
Why did we place the family or the society’s honor on a woman’s shoulders especially when that ‘honor’ is so fragile that it is capable of being destroyed with every movement of hers? It is a flawed concept embedded in our psyche and when taken to an extreme level. The thought of women being synonymous with ‘ghar ki izzat’ or honor of the family is ingrained in the mentality. Educated, urban people also resonate with the notion.
There is yet another perplexing thing that comes to mind here. While the Rio fever was at its peak, there was news of a Mr. World contest won by Rohit Khandelwal from India. Almost instantly there were parallels drawn between the woman power at Rio and a man making his mark at a beauty pageant. The comparisons were derogatory to all women associated with the modelling industry. If it’s criminal to look down upon someone for their physical attributes it’s equally dismal to mock at one who desires to look her best.
That is precisely what I ‘choose’ to talk about today. When you happen to be a woman, the dilemma becomes a routine of sorts. Women are forever entangled in the maze and even after they have their pick, they are struggling to prove the validity of their choice to all. Yes, women definitely have a tougher time choosing life v/s men. Mostly they concede to the ideas flaunted by society. But to truly liberate themselves, they need to be more accepting of the choices they make in life. They need to be less judgemental of other women who think differently and most importantly they need to stop seeking approval from each other for their decisions. That is the only way they can pull each other up.
It is an Irony of life- That we Decide when we don’t have a Choice. But let me say ; Lets keep our views and decisions ready with us before in hand; instead of waiting for that only choice in front of us…